A mustachioed man tells kids that there is life beyond death and spirits all around them. Hilarity ensues.

HELP ME, JAMES VAN PRAAGH

Disclaimer: I have no interest in what lies beyond this world and whether we can communicate with spirits (other than what I've seen in The X-Files), for two main reasons: I can hardly keep track of what's going on in this world and communicate with the whackjobs on this plane of existence; the people who purport to have these abilities are usually difficult to keep track of, and are total whackjobs. So there's that.

HOWEVER, that won't stop me from reading the literature and attempting to understand what they're trying to tell me without making me sit still to summon my spirit animals. I snapped up (that's code for "borrowed for free from the library because I'm a public employee") Looking Beyond by James Van Praagh, allegedly a foremost authority on spirit communication.

Comparing himself to John The Baptist, or covering for falling into the pool?

BEYOND BELIEF

First impression: I'm pleased that this guide exists. Most adolescents don't know how to look beyond the thought in their brain at a particular moment, or beyond their own image in the mirror. [Note: when smartphone technology kills the mirror industry, don't come crying to me. Sell your stock now and sail to Cuba.] The kids need to know what they're getting into when the real world approaches. Not that being a medium or believing in the spirit world will land them a job (exception: maybe here); there is merit in some of the generalities of spiritual guidance in terms of setting priorities, centering one's thoughts, and creating an attitude that does not accept self-defeatism. In some regard, Van Praagh does this better than the secular and non-ghosty self-help books.

This begs one question, which has dogged me for ten seconds and (presumably) mediums for years: How does one bridge the connection between adolescents and the spirit world? The answer, of course, is popular culture. In the first four pages of the book, JVP (I'll call him that for brevity and because we're both down with the cause) references The 6th Sense, Men In Black, and The Matrix. JVP says of The Matrix, "the movie struck a chord in everyone who saw it." True. Mine was, "I hope they don't ruin it with a a couple of sequels." Anyway, he supplements the movie references with mentions of Britney Spears, Allen Iverson Reeboks (What?!) and most ironically, Marion Jones. JVP cranked this book out in 2002, so the references make sense in that context, and it was long before Jones admitted to doping for much of her track career, including the 2000 Olympics. JVP uses her as an example of someone to aspire to emulate. He may want to print a redacted version.

After the pop culture well runs dry quickly, JVP retells It's A Wonderful Life in a compact fashion. [Why can't old movies be made into 15-minute short films? They'd get to the point much faster and then I can go back to complaining about modern things.] Then he says too much TV rots your brain and kills your creativity.* At that point, lots of adolescents might call this well-meaning man a hypocrite and leave the room. Or maybe just me. Then, he digs into endless analogies: Your brain is computer. Your mind is like a radio. Your soul is a blender and your soulmates are toasters. Sorry, I'm writing in my kitchen.

*JVP writes about positive energy being the sole catalyst for creativity. Oh yeah? Edgar Allen Poe. I rest my case.

I SUPPOSE I COULD DISCUSS THE ACTUAL CONTENT

In a scant 180 pages, JVP zips through souls, spirits, heaven, karma, dreams, energies, ghosts, meditation, intuition, soulmates, yet makes time for self-help strategies for establishing goals and meeting them. He also has a story for EVERY SITUATION IMAGINABLE. I have to wonder how many of these are made up. There's one that clearly takes place in a fantasy world: a teenage boy develops a gambling problem and steals from his mom's purse to buy in and/or cover his debts. After denying the crime three times (!), the kid confesses and his dad grounds him for a month. I'll say that again. For stealing hundreds of dollars from his mom and lying for weeks, he is GROUNDED FOR ONE MONTH. My dad would have me polishing doorknobs with my face and march me into gambler's anonymous meetings until I was thirty. I'm pretty sure I grew up with some kids who never faced dire consequences for their behavior, and they're now either in prison or politics.

JVP provides "signposts" for the reader to think about after every small section, such as to trust one's hunches, because they are often right; it's a version of foresight, I suppose. For all of the topics he covers, there is very little development of content, which I found disappointing. Further, the key to all of this is belief, which he rarely discusses. I suppose that wouldn't be too "groovy," like in Austin Powers (joke). At one point he writes, "You picked your parents in order to learning something about yourself." I don't know where to start with this one. Definitely not starting with MY parents; you're not my counselor and I recently signed a gag order forbidding me from discussing them in public. (Joke...for now.) To his credit, JVP discusses people born into abusive or neglectful families, but once again, there is little depth. Not that I want to sit down and debate him about the fate of crack babies and children who are tortured by their families and surroundings, but the claim that "each soul has a particular task to complete" doesn't sit well with a soul "choosing" their parents. That's where we differ, and I'd rather not argue the point. Rather, let's watch him have a weird conversation with Chelsea Handler:

I do commend JVP for wanting to help adolescents. He repeatedly tells them that the power to do what's right comes from within. Why can't we seek help from outside ourselves? I mean, other than JVP? Oh, he agrees with me in the last chapter. Good. Because I'm right! 

MEDIA-LOATHING MEDIUM

Funny to watch people who make their living by appearing on talk shows to promote their products trashing the media. Hey, now HE'S right! Not only does popular culture/media help us understand the spirit world while destroying our minds, it also gives airtime to people who do strange and disturbing things, such as kill other people, exploit and shame others, advertise spray-on hair...or claim to be psychic mediums. Right on, JVP! 100% See you on TV never again! Just say no to appearances on talk shows and infomercials! Don't tell those disturbing stories about teenagers being tempted to steal CDs (Remember, it was 2002; the correct answer now: tell your friend to illegally download it like everyone else). 

I don't actually want him to leave TV, nor do I find him a hypocrite or a fraud. He's harmless, really. Maybe I can finagle a free reading out of this and become a believer. 

Mulder! Scully! JVP! I see dead people! I know Kung Fu! 

NEXT TIME, I YELL ABOUT

A master storyteller, better know for his children's books than the stories for young adults who must learn the ways of the world, and older adults, who have been broken by the ways of the world. Let's just say it's time for JVP TO STAND ASIDE FOR THE BFG!

BORING STUFF

Looking Beyond: A Teen's Guide to the Spiritual World

James Van Praagh

2003 Touchstone

More than you can chew

Hooray, summer is here! I've chucked aside my doctoral coursework and teaching duties for a few weeks. It's time to relax and read some books. So naturally, my summer idea is: 

LET'S SOLVE THE ISRAEL-PALESTINE CONFLICT IN A YA NOVEL

Okay, that's not the purpose of Anne Laurel Carter's The Shepherd's Granddaughter, but it's fun to say, and will probably draw someone's attention and/or ire. Carter bravely writes about this situation from the perspective of a young Palestinian girl, Amani, whose family suffers at the hand of Israel in many ways. She learns to herd the family's sheep, normally a man's job, from her beloved  grandfather. After he dies, she takes charge of the sheep and watches as roads, houses and tanks encroach on the land, Israeli troops harass her family as they attempt to travel, and her brothers go to prison for protesting against Israel. She also strikes up an unlikely alliance with a teenage Jewish boy from New York who hates what the Israelis are doing. Anyway, everyone resolves their differences and the Middle East lives happily ever after.

JK

If only. Carter attempts to tell this story from multiple perspectives, but eschews the big issues of international influence and power and the inner workings of government for what it's like for everyday people who are none the wiser. I read Thomas Friedman's From Beirut to Jerusalem concurrently with this little book, and the contrasts in terms of what an intrepid journalist can learn, versus what a 14-year old girl in the boonies understands is frustrating and most likely (sadly) accurate. Amani only knows what she is told by her family, and thus she does not have a full understanding of the issues, not that anybody really does. Even Friedman at times seems exasperated and ready to give up on getting to the bottom of it.

Carter benefits from limiting the perspective. She doesn't try to solve the crisis, but simply wants her readers to understand one point of view within this chaotic sea of beliefs, ideology, and bellicose rhetoric. After all, Amani is plopped into the middle of this by accident of birth, which is the case for the majority of people in this situation; power in the hands of the few and all that nonsense.

JB

I don't have many jokes for this book, as 1) I finished it six weeks ago; 2) it's not particularly memorable, although Carter does establish plenty of drama and intensity as Amani struggles with the big world problems while also learning to face down a rare wolf that stalks her and the sheep (symbolism alert); 3) I'm tired from the school year; 4) I'm looking at this as a social studies teacher (what is wrong with me? SCHOOL IS OVER); 5) there are opportunities to yell about this book, but I can't do any better than this hilarious Goodreads review thread, in which the reviewer makes a controversial statement, clarifies and backs it up, receives some thoughtful responses, then goes toe-to-toe with some guy who may or may not have used her words to support banning the book in Toronto schools. It is clear that Carter is not trying to diagnose and resolve the issues, nor to over-simplify the situation, but rather to tell it from a realistic point of view of the rank-and-file. She does well enough to earn only a modicum of complaints on Goodreads. She's not trying to be Friedman, or to investigate this in-depth. You know why? BECAUSE THIS IS A BOOK FOR KIDS. The dweebs who whine about this book have a valid point in that it's dangerous to simplify this issue and sell it to kids that way, but at the same time, it serves as a decent introduction, and by saying this threatens to brainwash kids, they're insulting the intelligence of the people reading this book. Anyone who I've taught would immediately want to know the other side of the issue and ask all kinds of probing questions to get more answers and nuanced understanding of the issue (okay, about 20% of them would first say "Let's just nuke them," and after I verbally destroy that argument, they relent and ask real questions). Point being: you're not helping. I don't want anyone to be duped into believing anything, either, but this is clearly not the purpose of Carter's book. Any teacher worth a spit would pair this with a book that depicts one of the other sides of this crisis, or use it to edify understanding of the multiple perspectives that crisscross into a lavish web of insanity in Israel. Why deny opportunities for critical thinking? A school is probably the safest place for a student to read this book and get the whole picture. Just remember: everything is Britain's fault (joke). 

OK

That's enough from me on this issue. If you want to argue about it, I'll make some half-baked attempt to reply, or I'll just post Willy Wonka memes. It's summer; all options on the table. EVEN NUCLEAR. 

NEXT TIME, I YELL ABOUT

Something a lot more fun and easy fodder for jokes. Let's just say YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK BEYOND THIS REVIEW!

BORING STUFF

The Shepherd's Granddaughter

Anne Laurel Carter

2008 Groundwood Books