Sunday, February 10, 2013

Life Freaks Me Out...and then I write a lousy book about it

Sequel: Life Freaked Me Out, and then I dealt with it (reassuring secrets from a former living being)

I'm disturbed by this book. There are hundreds of advice books for teens* out there, an inordinate number of which feature a scribbled-on notebook, available for adolescents to read and glean some life advice from people who have been through the ringer and survived, or professionals who specialize in assisting people through thee tumultuous adolescent years. That's fine and dandy. The desire to help kids is noble; to want to work with students who have the deck stacked against them should earn a medal of honor. 

*Teens. I can't stand that word. When I hear people over the age of three use that word, I cringe. You know your friend who runs away screaming or goes fetal when you say the word moist? Teens is my moist. That sounds so wrong, but it's true, and I hate the world for it. 

The Search Institute, publisher of the book, employs (employed?) K.L. Hong, has a lofty statement of mission: 


"To provide catalytic leadership, breakthrough knowledge, and innovative resources to advance the health of children, youth, families, and communities."

Hot damn. I want to work there. Sort of. I'm wary of the Spiritual Development part of their services, which also was the most unnerving part of Hong's book itself. I get that people want to believe in a higher power and will pursue it on their own, and ought to be respectful of the beliefs of others, but there is some vague salesmanship going on in Hong's book - she continually refers to meditation, finding spiritual solace, and the "awe of nature" as remedies to her own troubles. Sounds harmless, but wait until you see what happens when the door-to-door peddlers enter your house. 

Hong relates her own adolescent experiences and how she learned from them to finally make peace with herself and her life as a 40-something. She goes into some detail, but not enough to convince me that she was as lost as the people her organization is trying to reach. What's that, Kay, you started smoking in high school as a stress reliever? My gosh! Look, I don't doubt her credibility, as she has become an adolescent mentor and seemingly knows how to talk to that crowd, and there is a lot of authenticity in the book, regarding her vocational search for career and meaning to life, and coming to terms with her father's death. I'm rubbed the wrong way by this book being published by her employer, which has a specific aim and mission, and some of the content.

Why she includes her disaster of a marriage does not fit into the purported theme of the book, or even its subtitle. "Reassuring secrets of a former teenager" doesn't necessarily invoke images of hasty marriage in one's twenties, although she could shoehorn it in under the rubric of decision-making without consideration of long-term consequences. So of course she tosses in the pre-frontal cortex thing. If the kiddo hasn't already been bludgeoned with this by their teachers, they get it in this book. In fact, they get a lot of what they probably already know, from a person who lets us in, but not all the way. We receive a general picture of her adolescent issues, but not enough to know her as a complete person. With at-risk and high-risk, that's everything. I won't trust you if I don't know the real you. How could she not make that commitment?
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At this moment the book has seven 5-star reviews on Amazon. I am shocked. Let's take a look at some of them, just in case Hong's pals are giving it the full 5 for fun and misleading the naive reading public. 


"What I like about this book is that Kay Hong has that rare capacity of remembering what it was actually like being a teenager and being able to write about it in an honest and fresh way. "

Repeatedly writing that every day is a blessing, there's so much wonder in nature, and advising meditation and yoga as a cure-all for one's teenage angst may be honest, but it's as stale as the Namaste bumper sticker on your Prius.


"I thought that this book was written honestly and written well; and I'd recommend it."

Hey, thanks for the dizzying detail of insight, and the misuse of the semicolon. 


"K. L. Hong has written a book for teens in an adult voice that conveys true family values."

Adult voice: Yes. She writes to adolescents as her equal, much to her credit, but the sanitation detracts from the authenticity. True family values: So, you're not as much into helping kids in need as your are in getting across your political message. You may leave now. 


"Adolescents will relate strongly to her message and it will open a window into what their peers may be feeling and thinking that is rarely shared. It will help them feel less isolated. For adults it will give you a sense of re-experiencing what adolescents is really like and may provide you with a window into the lives of kids at this critical stage in development."

I firmly believe that adolescents will relate to her message, but only because that message is so general. Absent an actual person to talk with, this book would be a best last-ditch effort to help a kid who feels isolated, alone, helpless, but it's no replacement. Certainly, there are adolescents out there who won't seek face-to-face counsel, and this might be worthy of their time to discover that their situation is not wholly unique, but that it does belong to them, and that they possess the capability to take control despite contrasting, confusing feelings. 

I didn't feel the connection that these people did. I was left wanting, as if this book wasn't authentic enough for the YA crowd. There's no photo of the author in the book. Nothing about K.L. Hong on the web. There's a Kathryn L Hong who has co-written a half dozen books on relating to teenagers, but nothing more. I can't find a shred of anything about her on the Search Institute website, other than a couple blog entries. Where's the web presence? You're in an age where people want authenticity, and if they have any doubts, they can and will find out about you. Why wouldn't someone who markets themselves as a helping voice to youth be more active on the internet? No time? No ability? No desire? I don't like it. 

Perhaps the best way to gauge this book is to let the intended audience judge its merits. Somebody find me a place on the internet that does this. All of the reviews I've found are by adults (even this one!). How are we supposed to know that this book its target? I'd recommend it to my students, but at times it felt like the most agonizing 150 pages I'd ever read. Maybe it's because I've been through it already much of what's inside is not revelation. For me. 

Bottom line: It's standard teenage help with a poorly-disguised spiritual message which might be better consumed through fiction. 


Boring Stuff


Life Freaks Me Out: And Then I Deal With It
K.L. Hong
2005 Search Institute Press

Amazon

1 comment:

  1. The reviews you quote seem more like pablum than reviews. Now , your review seems like vinegar--good balsamic vinegar!

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